not ever meeting AA was a blessing in disguise, maybe its so good because its soo unreal.... mayb it will be ruined teh day it becomes real.... i got a comfortable job,,, am living near yet away from my family, im earning nof to save and to enjoy..... living with sum1 who will be instrumental in teaching me assertiveness... working with the group of ppl who will again teach me to be stern as well as gentle.... patience is a virtue i am developin.....
constantly being able to look at myself from someone else's eyes gives me teh oppertunity to see how good i am... to believe in my abilities...... an opportunity to be pampered and yet play out my eccentricities..... to be what i have never been able to be coz i was always under teh shadow of a large and protective bird.....
this si teh chance i hve to fly, somersalt and dive yet come back to the nesta nd snuggle under teh protective wings of the father...... an opportunity for me to bring discipline and order in my life..... to review my passions and my desires..... to be myself.....
this si the day i say thanks to GOD for putting up with me, for trusting in me and for not giving up on me...... for not giving in to me..... for making me strong and weak... for giving me teh wisdom to finally figure out his divine plan......
thsi does not mean i hve changed..... i still long and desire and crave for teh same things.... i stillll hurt and feel for the same things.....
what is it with some people..... why cnt they just handle that maybe someone is genuine.... its funny and hilarious..... the incident today.... an issue erupted again..... NM at teh core i kno she fueled the issue but when someone tries to salvage the issue she gets irritated..... today i am teh brunt of her irritation.... i am goin to play a game.... not be sucked into her game..... she can induce as much irritation as she want in me i will not give..... let me see when i her breaking point..... to what extent will she go to get me to have an argument with her..... she just could not digest the fact that U praised me and said i love her nd care for her..... she had to discount the importance... she had to interfere she had to say taht its not genuine...... and i think what infuriated her more was my refusal to comment on it..... i let it slip and she could not bear that.... guess this stupid face taht she made and teh rude way she is talkin to me is an after effect of her irritation....
it seems that there is a new accomplice that she has found.... a support..... i try hard to understand her..... will write more later!!!!!
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