one of the good days

hi, I'm trying to get to be regular with my writing, so from now on maybe the posts are gonna get boring with only a description of my daily life and its activities...... but bear with me... its from the mundane events of life that deep learning are learnt :)

so whats the highlight of today?? a new crush developed (Taylor lautner), getting the feeling that someone I'm not so interested is interested in me.... someone is trying to reduce the distances (SB) I'm enjoying the attention..... and the eternal problem persists..... NM is being a pain in d ....... as usual.........

what happened today, she came in and switched off the lights to change...... all this while i was sitting and working on the laptop in the same room..... just coz she passes her time on laptop she thinks everybody does so..... its so hard to hate some1 and still live with the same person..... its like being married...........

please god let this not be a practice session for my married life.... i will kill myself.... :) its weird how we put up with a lot of shit from strangers while at home we are the most intolerant :) i guess the learning for today is that if some one is willing to be intolerant with u it means that they are warming up to u :) really...... i don't believe that.... but its a good concept if one is tryin to find positivity in a hopeless situation!!!!!

i was talkin abt her yesterday so now i have reached a decision actually i had reached the decision yesterday only but due to HER i could not finish my blog..... so what I'm gonna do to survive with her. 2 point plan of action

1) keep writing take out all my frustration here so that it doesn't burst out on her.....

2) don't give in to her bullying nor get pulled into her attempts to irritate me.....

I'm planning to find her limit of irritation.... without provoking or screaming at her can i assertively try and find out what is her breaking point.... at what point does she stop playing these games of innocuously provoking people and come out and become obvious of her attempts.....

the aim is not to torture her or myself the aim is to tip her over the scale and probably begin her healing or transformation process...... she needs to change and that will happen not until someone knowingly frustrates her...... i want her to break down and then rebuild herself.... unless she does that there is no hope for her......

and this plan can be successful only with ur help and guidance god... no one else can help me out here... give me the strength and the patience to deal with this PATIENT who also happens to be living with me.......

16th November..... the day of realisations!!!!

today is the day of realisations..... the day i begin to see the divine plan..... the disguised blessings..... the day i realised that whatever i hve taken as unfair and disappointing was all for a reason....

not ever meeting AA was a blessing in disguise, maybe its so good because its soo unreal.... mayb it will be ruined teh day it becomes real.... i got a comfortable job,,, am living near yet away from my family, im earning nof to save and to enjoy..... living with sum1 who will be instrumental in teaching me assertiveness... working with the group of ppl who will again teach me to be stern as well as gentle.... patience is a virtue i am developin.....

constantly being able to look at myself from someone else's eyes gives me teh oppertunity to see how good i am... to believe in my abilities...... an opportunity to be pampered and yet play out my eccentricities..... to be what i have never been able to be coz i was always under teh shadow of a large and protective bird.....

this si teh chance i hve to fly, somersalt and dive yet come back to the nesta nd snuggle under teh protective wings of the father...... an opportunity for me to bring discipline and order in my life..... to review my passions and my desires..... to be myself.....

this si the day i say thanks to GOD for putting up with me, for trusting in me and for not giving up on me...... for not giving in to me..... for making me strong and weak... for giving me teh wisdom to finally figure out his divine plan......

thsi does not mean i hve changed..... i still long and desire and crave for teh same things.... i stillll hurt and feel for the same things.....

what is it with some people..... why cnt they just handle that maybe someone is genuine.... its funny and hilarious..... the incident today.... an issue erupted again..... NM at teh core i kno she fueled the issue but when someone tries to salvage the issue she gets irritated..... today i am teh brunt of her irritation.... i am goin to play a game.... not be sucked into her game..... she can induce as much irritation as she want in me i will not give..... let me see when i her breaking point..... to what extent will she go to get me to have an argument with her..... she just could not digest the fact that U praised me and said i love her nd care for her..... she had to discount the importance... she had to interfere she had to say taht its not genuine...... and i think what infuriated her more was my refusal to comment on it..... i let it slip and she could not bear that.... guess this stupid face taht she made and teh rude way she is talkin to me is an after effect of her irritation....

it seems that there is a new accomplice that she has found.... a support..... i try hard to understand her..... will write more later!!!!!