MMS called today.... his company closed and withing 10 days he has got himself a new job....... he has offers to chose from.... AP quit his job and found another one...... and another one..... everyone i know i either studying abroad or working... all except me..... no work no love no one to cry to.......... is there a reason why i am undergoing so much pain...... i cant even remember where the pain is..... each pore is on fie.......
wish u could talk back to me.... hold me .... wipe my tears tell me everything is gonna be fine....... I'm scared...... very scared..... I'm trying hard...... I'm really trying hard......... i don't want to end up loser..... i don't want to end up alone......
it should not be like this..... i should not be jealous of other people.... i should not be jealous of my brother's opportunity...... but i am.... i am happy for his opportunity but at the same time it reminds me of my inactivity........
help me god.... help me.... don't let me sink...... help me sustain my trust in u..... its hard to keep believing that u have planned something better for me...... give me a hint, a sign, a signal something that i can understand......
i have to go but the hurt, the pain, the doubt is still there...... its not gone.... and i think it never will
every movie i watch..... every character i like.... i think .... to be like her, to be loved like her, to be as special to someone as she is to him one needs to live a life that she has lived and anisha since u haven't lived that life you will not be her or find someone like him..... but today..... in "new moon" movie, bella is just normal. she hasn't endured anything unusual...... she is just like me normal, completely ordinary yet she finds true love... she finds not only edward but also jacob......... now i have no reason to believe that i will ever find love ....... if bella can find love and i cannot then maybe its for a reason.... maybe i am not destined for it......
maybe i am never to love or be loved.........
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