रोज़  रोज़ आँखों तले एक ही सपना जले 

again that sinking feeling is back.... why today... coz its opportunistic..... no poonam, all alone in teh room... the opportunity to cry......

पाता नहीं क्यूँ ..  लग रहा है, फिर वही अकेलापन ।वाही ..दर्द.dard ....लौट आया  है

im not even in a mood to write... i was supposed to accomplish so much today but nothing is done... tmw again its back to the same school, same work, same grind... i dreamt of a job which i would love, i love teh part where students come to me and feel that i can help them out, but its the other grind that i hate

the politics the endles belief that i am worthless, nothing that i do will ever please her, im loosing myself again.... my only respite is swimming,  takes out some sadness from me....

din khali khali barthan hai aur raat hai jaise andha dhuan....

i think its the lack of people to communicate.... i feel like im alone in a sea of people..... i feel my level of stimulation is way over that is normal.... i need people, i need activity, i need to be teh center of attraction only then will i be happy......

Lord, sometimes its difficult understanding that your plans for my life are different from mine. At time yes, I also give you a good fight and blackmail you to stick to mine. But Confusingly enough despite all I know you want the best for me - Hence I shall wait on thee :).
Yours truly.

im lost....  officially...... can u i know u will without me even askin but i am of little hope and belief......i get scared...... help m out...... u knwo my desires and wishes........ if im not entitled to them then just erase them.... if i am entitled to them tehn give me teh courge to wait!!!!!!

good night!!!!!!